They Are My Mirror

It was a quiet morning this morning.
Time to work on the internet projects, sort out bills, such as that.
I made my way all the way to 1:00 before I actually spoke to anyone.
That was only four hours ago but I am here to chat at you about it.
You don't really need to hear details.
You are thinking you had a day of your own.
How could my day seem like anything more than yours did.
I understand, really I do.
What I am here to share with you really isn't a story about my day.
It is more a light bulb to turn on.
A realization that makes life a little better sometimes.

I think I am so very lucky in this world.
I tend to speak loud and laugh often, or so I have been told.
My children get short with me when my bright light is just shining and shining in their eyes.
What can I say, I have energy. Lots of energy, lots of the time.
Who ever heard of a parent with more energy than her children?
Well, it is true at my house anyway.
They try to keep up but most times I can see it on their faces.
They are trying to mirror me but don't know how it is working.
It frustrates them sometimes.

I guess I have always believed I should respect that people try to mirror me.
I am a middle child so I remember having younger siblings who tried to dress like me, act like me.
It is just different in adult life.
We have to understand that we have value and that others wish they could smile
the way we smile.
Dance when the music isn't playing.
Tell stories, sing songs, light up the room.
Don't get me wrong.
I believe everyone lights up the room.
I enjoy all the people I care for and work for.
It is important to remember there is a special part of all of us that shines,
whether we mean it or not.

So I begin my days with sleepy people who offer me coffee and chat.
Lights are not shining bright yet, movements are still slow.
I am theirs for more than chat but it is up to me to notice what is needed.
They think of me as a cleaner.
They find a companion in me that is kind and patient.
A woman who understands more than she says she understands,
and who will pitch in at a moments notice.
For most of my clients, that is enough.
We get into a comfortable place with each other.
They know what to expect when I arrive.
I know how it can go with anything I have found they need.
Just helping them to stay independent in their homes.

Some of my clients enjoy a visit from my dog, Luna.
She is a sweet touch with more silly energy to pass around.
Good with vulnerable people, too.
She tends to just sit by them if they can't move or speak.
Cool, huh.
Sometimes it is more appropriate to simply tell stories of her escapades in the desert out back of town.
Times when her germs are an issue, you know.
The important part is always that I am there when I say I will be and they have my attention the entire time I am there.
Sometimes my attention is all that is really important to them.
That's okay, too.

The part that is most important to me when I arrive, is that I know they have been living the whole week till my next visit.
Each day was probably as challenging for them as the one they have on my schedule.
They would like to whine and tell about the troubles.
They would like to speak of frustrations with medical personnel,
procedures, falls that ripped their skin.
Most of the time they don't whine.
Did you hear that?
Most of the time these elders just want to know about my week.
They want to hear my stories of parenting and business owning and single womaning......
^_^


It always honors me to find them interested.
Because I understand more than I say I understand,
I try to speak only about things they can help me with.
Sometimes, I have to make a story for them to solve.
Makes them feel useful in this world.
Needed by someone who doesn't look like she needs them.
Best I can, I never bring my drama to them.
They have enough drama for the both of us.
No, I really just try to make them smile.
Sometimes, it is all about the smile I bring through the door when I arrive.
They are my mirror.
Some days it is just that it takes them a while to wake up and want to smile.
Lots of the time I find them sorting out some very painful trouble that keeps them sitting too long, so I sing.
I do, and they encourage it or just smile as if I were an angel.
It probably helps that I have had training.
It probably makes a difference that I have worked with musicians who
made me learn to have a voice worth listening to.

What I think is wonderful is that when I sing or bring joy, well,
I find people try to mirror me.
It is like magic, sometimes.
I get to the home and it is sleepy quiet.
Within an hour we are all chatting and smiling and the day seems better.
I think of it as a courtesy to the good people who employ me.
It is a gift that I give to my clients.

Yes, I am leading them and I don't know if it stays in the air after I leave.
Sometimes I wonder if I tire them out and they nap when I go.
It is just another way to elevate the quality of life in their home.
That is what I am there for so how could I not share my energy where it is needed?

I have come to understand that the effort is worth my time.
When they mirror my grin, I grin bigger.
When I grin bigger they ask me what I am grinning about and the whole thing just starts over again.
I bet you could try it and grin bigger, too.


My best to you and yours.

Nancy McEldowney
October 11, 2010