And The Beat Goes On

Yes, I know it has been some time since I last brought you my stories.
My apologies for that.
I have been in the thick of thin things.
If you've ever found yourself there, you know it takes as long as it takes.
Perhaps I was pushing harder than I should have.
To be honest, I had no choice but to remain in a reactive state. I so prefer to be proactive in this life.
All I can tell you is life has begun to treat me better and I am back.
Thanks for waiting for me.

I have come here today to be that reminder you may need.
The reminder we all need from time to time.
Last month I added five new clients to my weeks. Yes, it is always a good thing to increase my income and have the regular schedule that I can count on. Though I am always grateful, I am also aware that the new jobs take getting used to and the people tell me who they really are and what they really need from me, over time. I don't usually understand enough at the beginnings but beginnings are good. I don't mind the awkward moments because they always sort out.
My story today isn't about how good it is to grow.
It is about how I can get so caught up in the beginnings that I miss the now. It was a now when I saw the grayish tint to Davids' skin tone. I have asked myself why it seemed reasonable at the time. It was a now when he came home early and Kitty went back out to continue the days chores that they had hoped to accomplish. Yes, it was a now when I left that day without checking on David. It was two days later that David was admitted to the hospital and two days after that, Father's Day, he passed from Kidney failure.
David was diabetic and it was coming on for some time. That is what Kitty told me when I arrived on my next scheduled day. No, she did not even remember that they had hired me. I had only worked for them two times. She said she was glad I had cleaned the house before all the company arrived. That made me smile. We girls do have our priorities, don't we.
The whole family was there to help her get through the loss and all those moments that fill our days without the company we count on.
She just grabbed me up and held me till one of her daughters came to the door and nudged her hug till she let go. Oh my goodness, I wanted to be useful to her. At that moment, I would have done just about anything for her.
All she could talk about was Big George.
He is one big cat, about thirty pounds, and he is lost without his buddy. George only allowed David to brush him and play with him. Kitty had the right name, probably just didn't have Georges' attention, I guess.
I could hear all that she wasn't saying. I just told her to call me for anything. When all the family finally goes home. I will be someone to call.
That is sometimes all that is needed, just someone who lives here, to call.

Remember, I told you I added five new clients to my schedule?

Enter Maryann.
She is also a new client. At least I have given her a free consultation, she was recommended by one of my oldest accounts and I honor my good people with favors like that. It was a four hour conversation about life and her interests and then a little about cleaning her home. She says she is suffering from ache in her hands and legs. Also, her doctor has not eased her allergy attacks and the headaches are keeping her grumpy and unable to accomplish even her simplest tasks. Then there was the skin irritation that seemed to be nothing, to her doctor.
One week later, I worked a five hour day for her. The first hour was spent making her a lotion for her Arthritic hands. The lotion is equal parts, shea butter(4 oz) and cocoa butter(4 oz), with about four tablespoons of Arnica cream and thirty drops of Lavender Oil. Keeping it in a tub that seals but is easy to open with sore fingers made her happy. The last portion of Arnica cream I gave her for the bad days when it just ached too much and the mix wasn't enough. Then I told her about Evening Primrose Oil and how to apply it to her dry patches. I told her that she could take it internally but that poking a hole in one of the capsules and applying it directly to the spots would heal the painful places quicker. The allergies could be sorted out at a friends health and well-being store, here in our town. I knew Sue would be responsible and check on the medications she is already taking. Even just a little red clover would break up the sinus congestion. Then I put a wet wash cloth in the microwave for 20 seconds, put some lavender oil on it and gave it to her to rest her face in. The hot moisture on her nose and eyes made her feel better immediately. It was good to see her warm to me and smile so contentedly.
Before I left I asked her if the cream worked on her Arthritis. She said what people usually say to me when I make that mix for them. She said, "Oh, I forgot my hands!" I am hoping she will continue to use the mixture and ease off the pain meds. That will depend to a great extent on what her Doctor will allow.

I had also made an effort to get her kitchen scrubbed and shined and when she came back from getting her groceries, I gave her a hand with the bags and the unpacking. Before we knew it, I had to get moving to the next client.
I do two a day if it is possible.
When I was gathering up my things to leave, she started a fret about the bleach that was in my cleaner. I could see her upsetting herself.
I understand and respect being good for the planet. I regret the chemicals that I sometimes have to use. Most of my cleaning supplies are earth friendly but there was a small bleach additive in the cleaner and I was sorry she had forgotten.
The fact that she forgot is why I bring her up to you.
See, we had agreed that I would use my products the first time and if she found them to be unacceptable, we would go with her desire to use white vinegar as a cleaner. I have often used white vinegar but for a smoker, I felt a good soap was more appropriate. That yellow can become like old honey on the surface of your home. Smokers know what I am talking about.
I apologized but tried to remind her that we had made that choice during our consultation and if it was unacceptable, we would use the vinegar next time. This quieted her fret but I could tell that she was still off a little. I don't know how to explain the feeling I had but to say that this is where I started to wonder if all her lights were turned on, if you know what I mean.
My heart strings tugged as I realized how wrong I may have been about her.
At her age and all alone like she is, how could my other clients really know if she is capable of staying alone.
Had I been too busy with all the new clients and keeping up with the summer vacation homes getting back on my schedule?
Well, I wanted to believe she was okay so I told myself to wait and see.
By the time I was at my next gig I had myself fretting, too.
It was after 6 when I got home that evening but I called the client who referred Maryann to me.
I told her what I had observed and asked her if I was just fretting for nothing.
She told me that she also was not sure if I could be of use in this home.
She said that she didn't know Maryann very well but it seemed that what I do might help her maintain her independent life. That is, after all, what I attempt in all the homes I work in. These people have many different challenges to deal with and I am known as an advocate. I take it seriously. I just don't know what I am looking at when I look at Maryann. When I had left Maryann that day, we had agreed that I should call her and we would see where our calenders match up for future days.
I have left messages, no word from Maryann. So do I let this go? Of course I do. She is the Queen of her home and I have no place making annoying calls with questions. At least that is what she would say.
As for me, I drive by to see if she is turning on lights and watering her little flower bed. Maybe she won't call me back for now, but that doesn't mean she won't look for me. If she has a memory issue, if she falls, if she just changes her mind and looks for help again from someone who will be good to her, I will be here.
I will be sharing with my other client that I have concerns but that Maryann is not returning my calls. This is a small town and it will get back to my client if Maryann is confused and thinks that I am unavailable. It all just takes time and legally all I can do is drive by now and then.
Not what the Police Dept. would do, just a stop by for a chat kind of thing.
If all those lights aren't burning bright in her beautiful mind, it is important that someone keep a look out for her.
Again you ask yourself, "Yes, but what is the reminder?"
All I wish to remind you of is that we are all of us, moving as fast as we can.
No matter how good our intentions are, we can so easily misread a situation.
It was a now when she told me her ailments and I gave her suggestions and lotions and oils that I am familiar with. Some of it worked right away, other parts of my ideas caused her fret when she felt I had not listened to her wishes. It was a now when I was arrogant and feeling I could just come in and make her better. It was a now when I was irresponsible and sent her to the Wellness Center for allergy aids when we don't know if the headache is really from an allergy.
For now, it seems we are helping her. Until she returns my call, I will not know for sure.

The reminder?
Really look at the people you are talking to.
Pay attention to what is right in front of you and make the effort to see the perspective of those people you spend time with.
I don't really believe making something of Davids' skin tone, that day, would have changed anything for those good people. The fact that I was called in meant that they understood life was getting more complicated and help was necessary.
But I did take for granted that these people needed less than was actually needed. Kitty may not have understood what the skin tone meant. Have to let that go.
Maryann was alone and telling me about someone who had worked for her before. I didn't really listen when it didn't make sense, I checked the clock and made the move for the door. My next gig was waiting. At first, she did appear to be living her life well enough. At least I have options left with her and these things do take time to unfold.
When you get on my client list, you get respect and care. Even when you don't want to need the care, I am someone who understands, most of the time, and intends to be there when you call.
That is the reputation that I have built these past eleven years.
This blog reflects my observations and intentions.

It honors me to find you here, interested.

As Always,
Nancy McEldowney