He said, "Hello, My Name Is Ben."

It wasn't just any agent who asked me for this favor. I wasn't even sure what she was asking but I knew I had to help her. She was the broker who owned the real estate agency and she had faith in me so I had faith, too. Now, when I look back, I'm sure it was a true gift that she gave to me.
She asked me to check in on Ben. He was an older gentleman who lived alone and who was not always able to help himself around the house. That is how she explained the situation.
I called ahead and made an appointment with Ben. We agreed on a day and time and then I waited. He told me that he had waited for me, too. When I rang the doorbell, it took a long time for Ben to make it to the door. He was only in the kitchen but Ben suffered edema in his ankles from some of the medications he had to take so walking was slow and not very steady. I could hear his footsteps as his slippers slid along on the stone tile floor. When he opened the door and raised his head to look out at me, a smile grew across his face and I fell in love. He said, "Hello, my name is Ben, come in." We sat at his kitchen table and I asked him about his feet. He didn't want to talk about his feet, he wanted to know how my day had been and would I like something to drink. I felt safe and comfortable and knew this would work out fine.
It didn't take long till I was all over that house. It was big but he was neat and tidy and then there were the areas that went unused since the kids were grown and his wife had passed. I cleaned for him once a week and as the weeks passed we found time to chat about this and that till finally he was comfortable enough to tell me about the pain I could see him tolerate when he walked.
I asked him, one day, as we sat together at that kitchen table, if he would mind taking off his slippers to show me his feet. He was slow to do it so I got down on the floor in front of him and asked if I could help. He was reluctant but he finally said okay. I slowly, carefully slid the back over his heel. I think he could see me trying not to cry when I saw what he had been walking on, so he quickly pulled back.
The edema made his ankles purple from the lack of blood flow but his feet had been so swollen for so long, the skin had become dry and was peeling and cracked. His toe nails were yellow and two of them had developed a fungus. It looked very painful and he told me that the slippers were the only shoes that would fit over his feet. I asked him if he would like a foot massage and even though I was sure he had never had one before, he was quick to say yes.
Those massages turned into hour long soaks in tea-tree oil and warm water followed by a massage and pedicure. When I asked him why his doctor hadn't taken care of the fungus he got angry and said because he wasn't telling him about it. He told me one of his stories about the time he had gone in for something else and only mentioned to the doctor that he wanted an over the counter medication for his toe trouble. He said before he knew what was happening, the doctor turned to him with pliers in his hand and he just ripped the toenail off, with no warning. Ben got tears in his eyes when he got to the ripping part. So betrayed by his own doctor. Ben was given a medication for pain and ointment to put on the toe with instructions to keep it bandaged till a new nail grew back. The new nail grew in with a new fungus so Ben never took his shoes off in front of his doctor again. This is where he flashed me that impish grin of his. I told him not to fret, there would be no toenail removal for fungus anymore. I explained that the tea-tree oil would kill the fungus while he soaked. It also reduced the edema as it killed the fungus so as his extra large feet shrunk and the fungus went away, Ben fell in love with me and trusted me from then on.
The foot soaks became a good habit even after his feet were better. He enjoyed sitting at the kitchen table while I worked in his kitchen. We could talk about his days and he had a woman in his kitchen again. He told me once that I was the first woman to clean his oven since his wife had died. I asked him how long it had been and he quietly answered, "six years". I realized how very much this man needed my care. I didn't realize how much I would love spending days with him, how I would grow to need his humor and quiet kindness.
After a year or so, he needed more help. He increased our time so that I was there at 1:00 every Tuesday and Thursday. Thursday remained the cleaning day which also included a foot soak and massage. Tuesday I drove him to the grocery store where he loved the grocery carts. He could walk faster now since his feet were getting better and he could wear shoes again. I used to call him Mario because he was so fast when he had the cart to keep him walking strong. I always got one of those grins for that.......
There is so much more to the story of my time with Ben. There just isn't enough time here, so I will skip ahead.
I remember the Thursday that I arrived at 1:00, as usual, but Ben wasn't answering the door. I let myself in with my emergency key. I found Ben on the floor in the kitchen. He had fallen the night before around 7:30. He was conscience but couldn't move. The stone tile had taken all his body heat, he was cold to touch. I laid down beside him, putting my body near him, holding him and talking quietly to calm him, trying to assure him. Once again, he told me he had waited for me.
It took the EMTs minutes to get there and we sorted out what medications he had missed from his notebook of records. That notebook was a list of all his doctors, their numbers and what Ben saw them for. It also contained a list of his medications along with when he took them and how much was to be taken in each dose. I hope you will get to your parents homes and make one of these notebooks. Keep it in the kitchen in a place where the EMTs can find it if no one is conscience when they arrive. Please, just do it.
I think you can tell that I lost Ben. I had the pleasure of caring for him for four years and then, just like that, he was gone. I am very grateful for the times we shared. You should be so lucky.