How Do You Do It?

I get that question often enough. If not that one, then I am asked if I work for an agency or do I do this on my own. I am even asked if I will be starting my own agency. All good questions I imagine. This morning, my bones aching and my head tired from the constant, "on duty" kind of feeling, and I ask myself how I do it. This time of year I take on vacation homes to make up for the time I give away to elders who can't afford the in-home care that I provide. I live in a lake town so the vacation homes pop up most of the year but in summer you can imagine how my schedule stacks up. I am lucky that way as the winter months can make for a tight budget. Someone said the other day, "Nancy you should start an agency. Do you know how many people are out here making $9.00 an hour?" I am sorry that it is true but I can't make up the difference for people who don't know how to do it for themselves. I can only teach what I know when I have the time to teach. Today I will have two places. Yesterday I did three. Yes, I worked two vacation homes but they will make up for my Friday when my client, who survives an aggressive form of Parkinson's will only afford three hours but will require at least 6 hours. They will also make up for my afternoon today where it is obvious I am needed but really to expensive to have. I have been told for years that I should charge more for my time but then how will my elders ever get my care? You have to be committed. You have to want to be good for something more than yourself.
Yesterday, throughout the day, I watched and heard the funeral for Michael Jackson on the televisions that were on. I kept thinking, "another casualty of the A.M.A. and I shuddered. The lack of conscience in so many of the medical practitioners in our country cost us so many good people. It doesn't matter how much money you have. The selfishness in medicine for profit makes my life and yours a commodity to be gained or lost. While the country fights over ideas about health care, I struggle like too many others here in America. Health care is a luxury and even if I do get the money to afford a doctor in times of need, there is no promise that I will be cared for by someone who knows enough about the human body to heal me. I will have huge bills but I may not survive. It's the reality. Doctors do what they can in most cases but as long as it is medicine for profit, I won't be the most important fact in the room. My elders are not the most important fact in the room.
So here I go. I will be making my difference in this world for people who paid taxes, worked at jobs every day and hoped for a future. Just like someone like Mr. Michael Jackson, they thought they had a life worth living and wanted to be good for the world they felt they lived in. What the truth is, well, I won't be starting an agency. Home care for profit is not what I am doing. Supporting myself and my son while I do what I love to do is my reality. The economy does not help me. The government does not see me. The church does not love me. The hospital does not have the ability to care for me. I care for me. I care for all the people who can get on my schedule. I care for my son. This is America and I have built this life in a small town, in America.
How do I do it? Baby steps, self love, the need to be good for the world around me, focus, good habits, patience. Try it some time. I mean the part about doing something for someone else each day. It makes you stronger than you think you are. It makes me forget my aching bones and weary heart. It reminds me that I have a life worth fighting for. Just like you.